Stuff a 40-Something Freshman Says

By Vickie Trippe

• Hey…Captain Obvious…laying on your horn in the parking lot traffic gridlock really isn’t helping.
• You’re not as interesting as you think you are – use your ‘inside voice’ in the hallways and between classes.
• Are you really so tired you need to lie down in the hallway between classes? Five Hour Energy drinks…get some. 
• Did Mommy pick your classes and make you take one on Friday? Complain to her then.
  
  
• The pedestrian ALWAYS has the right of way.  ALWAYS.  Even if the driver is late for class.
• Ummm – WHY would a teacher you disrespect ever be compelled to cut you some slack?   
• YES! The syllabus is your to-do list. Really!
• College is self-service.  Handle your messes.
• Would it kill you to use some words other than “like, uh…” and “you know…”?
• Guys…hogging the benches while the girls around you have to stand is so not scoring you cool points.  Chivalry.  Look it up.
• To get a good education, you need to be a good student.  For a GREAT education, put forth A LOT of effort. Learning via your head resting on your book, osmosis style, hasn’t proven to be too effective.
• Why wait for the 60% of term mark to drop out?  The rest of us need the parking space and financial aid you’re wasting.
• Hey…Cootie Factory…cover your mouth while you cough & sneeze.  Remember we learned that in kindergarten?
• Too bad there’s not an “app” for courtesy.
• Graduating high school doesn’t automatically make you college ready.  You’re in charge of you now.  The sooner you start to own that, the easier everything gets.
• While you are sleeping in class, yes, we ARE making fun of you.
• When I was your age, no one could tell me anything either.